Persnickety

Where everybody knows your name ... Remember that song from "Cheers"? It came to mind recently when a customer (a long-time customer) came up to the counter to retrieve her prescription. I recognized her, but when the day gets busy as it certainly was, I find it difficult to always match a name with the face. Sometimes I can come up with the first name, sometimes the surname, and sometimes neither. I usually get around the embarrassment by asking a date of birth. That can be a problem, however, when the gender is that of a female. Women can get quite ornery when asked a DOB (date of birth), especially when over the age of thirty-ish. I asked for her name, thinking that that would be the lesser of two evils. Actually, I apologized, then asked for her name. Something like "I'm sorry, I can't remember your name." She then remonstrated against my failure to recall her name. "Everybody else remembers my name!" she said. Now, that may be true, and it may...

My all-time fav lines from real, live, authenticated customers: [Answering the phone] Hello, this is ******* pharmacy, how can I help you? [Customer] Are you guys open? [Duh, if I answer the phone then I'm here and I'm open] Is my prescription ready? Then I can pick it up? [Ah, but what is the secret password?] Can I use the restroom back there? [Of course you can--we wish to exceed your expectations after all--and help yourself to some of the samples on the shelf.] [Banging on the gate, which is closed and locked, and obviously so ... closed] Hey! You guys closed? Does this come in genetic? [Plunking the prescription down on the counter, seen for the first time for maybe 2 nanoseconds] How much is this going to cost me? [Well, let me just reach into my memory banks and, oh, here it is, $117.58 minus the -- what insurance?--12.789% discount plus the $3.78 dispensing fee ... but wait, on page 29 of the contract--which I have right in front of me by some weird lucky chance--I ha...

... it's entirely illegal! What happens is this: Some fellow traveller stops in and remarks how he needs a refill on his prescription. Unfortunately the prescription is either expired or is not refillable (a clue would have been to look at the label where it says "No more refills--contact your doctor"). What to do? Well, with the price of gas going up there aren't a lot of people willing to go home and then come back later on in the day, especially if they live in a rural district where a drive to the pharmacy might be half an hour or more. Nowadays it can take several days to get a refill on a prescription, so what I do is to give the poor bloke a couple of days worth of meds and send them on their way. I then fax the doc and when I get the prescription OK I then subtract the few tablets from the new fill. Simple, right? Everybody happy, right? Sure, except ... it's entirely illegal. No one gave me the right to give those pills. I'm essentially writing a pre...

Hit Clear?-- That will be $19.98. Will you please sign for the prescription insurance billing? Yes, right here on the signature pad. " Cancel "? No, hit " Continue ." Yes, the button at the lower left. The one that says " Continue ". Thank you. Now sign...no; I'm sorry, you've hit " Accept " before you signed your name. Let me reset the pad. There, now you can sign your name. Yes, that's right. Hit " Clear "? No; " Accept ." Whoops, you hit " Clear ." " Clear " actually clears the pad so your signature is erased...or cleared . If you hit " Accept " then your signature will be...yes, accepted . Try it again. There you are. Now that wasn't so hard, was it?