Persnickety

I am endeavoring to produce a blockbuster, earthshaking, and potentially an academically career ending theory for literary criticism: I read the first sentence and judge accordingly. Witness the following time saving reviews (totally at random): In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.—But can He follow that up? On an exceptionally hot evening early in July a young man came out of the garret in which he lodged in S. Place and walked slowly, as though in hesitation, towards K. Bridge.—Heck of a sentence. I predict great things from this writer, a Mr. Fyodor Dostoyevsky. Note to Hollywood: Don't change that name. For a long time I used to go to bed early. —Ok, maybe this loses in translation. (Swann's Way by a M. Proust.) Look at a map that shows the north Pacific Ocean. —Obviously written by a Neanderthal. (The complete Idiot's Guide to American History, 2nd Ed.) On my right hand there were lines of fishing stakes resembling a mysteri...

For Pete's sake, start using the serial comma correctly. Newpapers omit it for space but in serious writing it should be placed correctly. See Strunk's Elements ofStyle: the ox, the cow, and the sheep. NOT the ox, the cow and the sheep.

Here is a recent poem selected by Mr. Keillor for his Writer's Almanac: Poem: "Sign on a Cabin in the Caribou Hills," by Arlitia Jones http://mail.publicradio.org/site/R?i=dR6jkx-0RN5p-GW9jh2-kg.. from The Bandsaw Riots (Bear Star Press). Sign on a Cabin in the Caribou Hills This cabin belongs to Eileen Black. My husband Marvel and I built it by hand in 1957. Friends are welcome to use it: Perly and his gang, Johnny Pete, Mike Klink, Bob Eber- hard and Bob Jackovik, Diego Ron and Steve Redmon. George & Maria, Margie and Marty and the kids if they're along. Donny Shelikov can come in and Karl and Tony if he ever comes back. Ed Greeley, keep out. If you're lost and need a place to get in, you can spend the night. I left Sanka and dry goods. Help yourself. Please clean up. Don't attract bears. Leave it the way you found it-woodpile stocked and kindling dry. Remember, close the door tight and leave it unlocked....