Custom Site Search

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Lou, the Proctor & Gamble Guy

I thought I would answer Mr. Lou Pritchett, who wrote A LETTER FROM A Proctor & Gamble Executive TO THE PRESIDENT. For those not familiar with this letter please see my previous post.

Lou,
You are a former soap salesman, which seems at first glance to be a real nice, clean sort of a job, but you scare me more than WWF Smackdown star "Lethal Weapon" Steve Blackman. Why?
You scare me because after just fifteen minutes of Internet fame, hundreds of thousands of people have read your letter. And apparently you really did write this. Most people would have said, Heck no, that must have been some other me.
You scare me because after a day of trying to figure you out I still can't. And I don't know where you went to school.
You scare me because I don't know who paid for you to put that, um, um, stuff out there.
You scare me because I don't know how a simple salesman--and I do mean simple--of soap could rise to become a vice president of Proctor & Gamble...and then write this, um, stuff.
You scare me because you haven't let everyone know how much you made as vice president, who are your friends, what political affiliations you have, and who you give money to. You are really scary.
You scare me because I don't know if you've ever been in the military. Only military men are worth anything.
You scare me because you've never been on Medicaid. Only those on Medicaid really know what is going on in the real world. Vice presidents know squat.
You scare me because you lack humility and class...and you don't know when to use quotes.
You scare me because you don't seem to be the kind of guy who will stand by your friends and pastor even when you disagree with them...you seem pretty extreme.
You scare me because you are a cheerleader for Rush Limbaugh's America, which by the way, isn't the real America.
You scare me because you want to say, No, to a European style government controlled healthcare system which would save 40,000 lives a year. Really scared.
You scare me because you want to convince people that it's better to Drill, baby, drill, than to put OPEC out of business and make America great again.
You scare me because you seem to love banks. Who loves banks????
You scare me because even your own Republican friends won't tell you the truth that it was them who revved up the ol' deficit wagon.
You scare me because you probably won't realize that you are not one of those "intelligent friends."
You scare me because you falsely believe that you are both omnipotent and omniscient---see? Only people who really think that of themselves say that about others. Scary.
You scare me because you like and want to encourage the Limbaugh's, Hannitys, O'Reillys and Becks who offer opposing, conservative-and wrong--points of view.
You scare me because you seem to prefer idiotic letter writing to actually learning about something.
Finally, you scare me because I have a feeling I'm going to have to read another of your letters spammed to me in four more years when Obama is re-elected and it isn't likely to make any more sense than this one.

No comments: