Things I'm going to say (or do) when I get old and take a trip to the pharmacy:

  1. "Excuse me, but I don't talk to technicians. Where's the pharmacist!" (Puff out chest here.)
  2. Throw credit card at cashier, preferably landing on the floor necessitating said cashier to bow to me, stating, "I'm sorry, I believe you dropped this."
  3. "How long will this take?" "Half an hour? All you have to do is put some pills in a bottle!"
  4. "OH MY GOODNESS … WHAT IS TAKING SO LONG!?"
  5. "So how much is this with my insurance?" "And for 30?" "Huh. How about 10?" What if I use my discount card instead?" "And for 30?" "Huh. How about 10?"
  6. "Now what do I do? Sign my name? Then what? Press clear? Whoops. There, I've signed again! Press clear?"
  7. "Why does this cost more every time I come here???"
  8. "Why do they pay $10 and I have to pay $50? Huh? Huh?"
  9. Wait until the prescriptions are all done and rung out at the register and then say, "How much if I use this card?"
  10. Tell the technician that, Yeah, I have insurance, but I don't know what it is.
  11. When asked if I am going to wait for the prescription, say, No, I'll be back later. Then come back in two minutes.
  12. Wait two weeks for the prescription to be done (and then returned to stock since all pharmacies put them back after a week), then come to the counter and say, "But you've had two weeks to do it!"
  13. When picking up my prescription and asked my name I'm going to say, "What, you can't remember it? I come here every month!"
  14. Talk on my cell phone as I'm being rung up and counseled. That really pisses them off!

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